Tell Me What To Do

The Brain Fog

I don’t know about you but I find myself in mental fog after most races, and this happens even before I start drinking my malted barley recovery beverages.  Not to be confused with Purple Haze, brain freeze, or Errol Morris’s The Fog of War, I’m talking about the temporary mental impairment I find myself in after every race.  Things are a bit fuzzy, it’s difficult to concentrate, throw in a bit of tunnel vision to boot, and don’t even try to have a deep meaning conversation.  Listening to people talk almost sound like the trombone whaa whaa whaa from the old Peanuts cartoons.  I like to find a nice spot and watch the colors go by while drinking a few cold beverages trying to figure out what I did with my car keys, trying to remember where the car is and finding the nearest Chiptole.

Grand Prix HPT - sat

Nothing is more exciting than racing under the lights and in a ⅜ mile clay oval at Heartland Park Topeka. Sure the long ass drive to Topeka sucks, but it was worth it.  I believe this was the first time I have ever had a reason to be in Topeka, I’ve driven through before, If your going to Colorado it’s difficult not to drive through it.  Anyway, the race was a blast, it takes a while to get comfortable on the track.  The cars create these little bb sized pellets, “marbles” that can be difficult to navigate before the lines get formed, especially difficult when cornering with any speed.  The feeling of coming in the track at the far end  and tearing down the front straight was incredible.

Well lit in some areas, not so much in others.

The lighting inside the oval proved to be problematic, at least to me.  Having multiple light sources create multiple sets of shadows.  I kept thinking I had someone on my wheel only to find that it was only one of my many shadows.  The extra flood lights they added to the remander of the course didn’t quite cover everything, there were a few spots where you had to hold on tight and hope for the best.

Veterans ‘Cross – sun

It seems that this weekend was sponsored by the Kansas Turnpike, Saturday night in Topeka, and then turn around and drive to Leavenworth for Veterans ‘Cross Sunday morning.  In all, a total of 275 miles were driven in the name of cyclocross over the weekend.

The weather could not have been nicer, 70 degrees in November, can’t say no to that.  I’m still holding out for a good wet, sloppy race, maybe this weekend.  The races at the University of St Mary are always tough, there are always lots of climbing and the grass seems to be as thick as green shag carpeting.  You can just feel the energy getting sucked out of your legs.

Nate making it look easy.

I had thought that this season was a lost cause, I was not pleased with my first several races, but I’ve seemed to have turned things around.  Thanks to pre-registration I was able to get a front row call up and was able to get a great start up the bumpy ass brick road and found myself sitting in fourth place for quite some time, it’s really interesting to see a race with only three people in front of you rather that everyone but three in front of you.  I have to say I quite like the change, however I manage to usually go and do something dumb and it all goes for naught. This time I took a turn to wide and got caught up in the tape and the stake holding the tape got wedged in my fork.  Frantically trying to extricate myself I saw my great start slowly circling around getting flushed down the toilet.  I managed to get a few spots back, but could never get back up with the leaders.  One of these days I’ll put together a complete race with doing something stupid.

SRAM fans.

ct

Holy Crap, How Did That Happen?

I’ve had a less than stellar ‘cross season so far. I felt I was getting worse instead of getting better, not even a little bit better. I was seriously wondering why the hell I keep doing this to myself, $25 or more flushed down the drain every weekend. I finally came to and understanding with myself, I’m not worrying how well I do, I’m now trying to focus on the fun that I’m having rather than how miserable I feel while racing. Cross is miserable for everyone, gotta’ find the fun in it somewhere.

Boulevard Cup was the final race with the all the negativity floating around in my brain. Last week at Smithville Cyclocross Fest saw a more positive performance, and I did much better than the previous races. It was a fun and fast course, especially the beach section, the fastest line was actually in the water, go figure.

Smithville CX Fest's money tree.

I actually wrote out a blog about it but it was just a woe as me essay and didn’t want to bore everyone with it so I didn’t post it. Nobody wants to read someone bitch and moan about how bad they are. You can thank me later.

I finally had my cx bike fit a few days ago, and it looks as if it was the best thing I’ve done since I started racing ‘cross several years ago. Has it really been 3 seasons? Who would have guessed that moving things a few millimeters up and down would make such a difference. The weather has been lousy the last few days and I didn’t have the chance to ride the bike and see if things got better.

I nearly missed the start of the Masters B race, when my left Egg Beater pedal broke, the spring just snapped while I was warming up. Oh shit!! Luckily Joe lent me the pedal off of his pit bike, we got it on just in time. I would have been screwed without it, lots of climbing and it would have been rough with only one shoe clipped in. That’s the second set of Egg Beaters I’ve broken, I’m that powerful!

The whistle sounded and I found myself near the front of the pack, not that big of a deal, I’ve been good at starts lately, my finishes are a different story. I was sitting in third or fourth for much longer than ever before, easily passing people and keeping them behind me, this never happens. Laps came and went and people I passed earlier were still behind me. Again, this NEVER happens. I ended up making a few bike handling issues and several were able to sneak past, but not as many as usual. I’m hoping the difference was in the bike, it might be a bit psychological too, but I’m not too worried about this. What ever it was it seems to have made a hugh difference. 9th place, not to bad.

As is the case with athletes who tend to be a bit superstitious I’m going to see what I can do to keep this new found ability around. I’ll be back in the 2008 State of California Championship skinsuit, same socks, same shoes (new shoes actually Mavic Razor), same pre-race meal… What ever it takes, look out for the California champ, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. The California Champion skinsuit was found on ebay, after spotting one when I was in San Francisco in the spring. Yeah, I know I didn’t earn it, but it was a find that was too cool to pass up, $30 and was like new when I got it. Regardless, it made for a great Halloween race costume, plus a blond wig and a puka shell necklace. (hopefully someone has pictures and will be posted when found) All bets and norms are off when it comes to Halloween costumes. I was glad to see others raced in costumes too; there were roller girls, lots of tatts and fishnets, Clark Kent, several skeletons. I wish there were more, but it was better than nothing. It seems like the lower your classification the higher the odds you would see someone in a costume. I was the only one in the 3/4 race, and there were none in the open races. Lame!

 

Bringing sexy back!

Speaking of superstions, I haven’t washed my bike or my pink Black Sheep kit since the season started. I’m not sure if this has helped or hurt my chances or if I’m just lazy.

 

Sexy Roller Girls!!

Speaking of the 3/4 race. I was feeling so good about my first race I felt that a second race was in order. I missed the window for the mens 4 race, so I signed up for the 3/4 race instead. I soon had a feeling that this was a really bad idea. That feeling turned out to be true as soon as the race began. I was in last place in seconds, and would be there for the next 45 minutes. After getting blown away at the start my hopes of anything good quickly disappeared, it became a personal challenge to see how I could do against guys who are much better than I am. I held off getting lapped for about half the race. By then I was hopping to get pulled, but each time I rolled past the officials they kept showing me the number of laps left. I’d yell something, but they kept showing me the lap board. I realized that they weren’t pulling me, despite how slow I was going but short of stopping they were going to make me finish. It was a small field and I wasn’t causing any traffic jams. I was in it for the duration, and I couldn’t bring myself to quit. I was positive I was getting a DFL but somehow finished 16th out of 18. I’m not sure how that happened, and I don’t care. I might revisit the 3/4 category in the future, but it will be some time before that happens, I’m sticking with the Masters B, maybe a Masters A here and there but it’s B races for now.

Post-race meal of champions.

ct

* I didn’t make it to Lawrence, I went out with friends, two robots actually Halloween night and didn’t make it home until quite late, even including the extra hour with the time change. Getting up early and driving all the way to Lawrence just didn’t sound like the thing to do this morning, catching up on some well needed sleep seemed to be the wise thing to do. There is plenty of racing to do this season and missing one race isn’t a big deal. The race next Saturday is at night under the lights at a race track, it sounds really fun! Then the Destad Cup continues Sunday and I’m working my way up the points list, so I’ll be there too.

Keeping It Real

Several of us have come to the understanding that we are not out every weekend expecting a podium spot, we are just happy not to get lapped or beat by the junior girls (more about junior girls later). If nothing else our goal is to keep the spirt of ‘cross that drew us to being racing, especially in the worst of conditions. The idea of being competitive has gone the way of the solid rubber tire. It was the party like atmosphere; the beer, the cowbells, people shouting, and the beer hand-up. 30-50 minutes of hell and then hours of drinking beer and yelling at your friends while they race, what could be better than that?

Boulevard Cup is the annual beer filled race of the season, free kegs straight from the brewery. If you don’t leave with at least a buzz you aren’t trying and should sell your bike quit ‘cross. Drink enough and the pain in your legs disappear.

Delicious beer, thanks Boulevard Brewery.

But wouldn’t you know it, there are people out there trying to quash our good time, beer hand-ups for one. They seemed to go out of their way to discourage hand-ups during race roll call, I don’t ever recall hearing the warning before, truth be told I don’t really listen when they are going over the rules, just like I don’t listen to the flight attendants when they are giving the safety lecture before a flight. And I know hand-ups violate both USA Cycling and UCI rules. I understand why they are not allowed, but if you believe for a second that a beer hand-up somehow gives you a competitive advantage I’ve got a bridge to sell you. In fact it’s quite a hindrance, especially a thick full-flavored brew in a cheap paper cup. You end up wearing more of it than you actually get to drink. Cans and bottles work best, they spill less than a cup and store nicely in your jersey pockets. However I feel proper edict is to pull over and enjoy the gift just given to you. If your the type who is willing to take a beer your probably not battling for a podium spot, so who cares.

From 2008 Bvld Cup. He stopped each lap and finished a full beer before resuming the Men's Open race.

I was scolded buy someone during my race. I pretended to reach over the tape and grab at a beer my friend was holding while yelling “Where’s my beer?” A few seconds later I hear the following, “There are no hand-ups in ‘cross!” I was flabbergasted, who died and made this guy a race official. I hear all sorts of things yelled at people during a ‘cross race, but I’ve never heard anyone yelling rules.

Quite honestly I don’t really care if I get in trouble or get dq’ed for either taking or giving a beer hand-up. In truth I’d wear it like a badge of honor. “Oh no, please don’t take away my next to last place finish.”

Hell yeah!

In other beer related news, Spanish scientists have found beer is a better recover drink than water. They believe the carbon dioxide in beer helps quench the thirst more quickly, while beer’s carbohydrates replace calories lost during physical exertion. Bless these people and the excellent work they are doing.

Speaking of getting lectured my teammate Brian got called out too, during the same race no less. He was scolded by a junior girl, who doesn’t look older than 12 or 13. While enthusiastically waving towards a photographer our young racer proclaimed, “If you have time to wave at a camera you aren’t racing hard enough. Try harder!” Ouch! Not only was it a biting comment and true, she said it while passing him, double ouch! Great, trash talking tweens. I’m not above talking trash, I yell all sorts of things during races, however I’m usually too out of breath to be heard or they have blown by me far enough that they couldn’t possibly hear me.

What we lack in athletic we make up for in spirit. We feel it is our sworn duty to keep cyclocross from becoming as dry and dull as road can be. ‘Cross has always been a bit different than most other cycling disciplines, and that is what draws a good many people to it. I know that’s why I was drawn to it, I was hooked after attending my first race. I had a bike and was racing a few weeks after watching that first race. I wasn’t very good, I’ve gotten a bit better and I’m still having fun. Now who has a beer for me?

ct

PS, I hope the cats in Charlotte are kicking some ass. We’ll try and get an update about them posted soon. Good luck guys!!

Bloggin’ Ain’t Easy.

There are lots of incoherent thoughts floating around my brain but none seem all that interesting or original.  Possible unoriginal topics include the following; a blow by blow rehash of the race, reasons why ‘cross is so hard, why I suck so bad, did I fall again and bleed all over myself (I didn’t), did I get lapped and or beat by a junior (not this time), why is Mike so much better than Brian and I, you know stuff like that.

I’m quite amazed when I check the stats for this blog and find that a good number of people actually read what I have to say.  For that reason I keep writing, and please keep reading, whoever you are.

I knew things were not going my way soon after I registered and was using the urinal, my keys somehow fell from the pocket of my hoodie and landed right in the middle of the unflushed mix of my liquid waste and urinal water.  It seems funny that urination and cyclocross seem to join together and put me in unfortunate situations.  You may recall my run-in with soon to be women’s cyclocross badass Katie Compton who walked in on me in mid-pee due to a faulty lock on the Port-a-john door at the 2008 KCCX national championships minutes before her call up for the women’s championship race.  However I didn’t have to fish my keys out of a bowl of my own urine when I “met” Katie last December.

Chris Cross is the fourth race of the season, some have done well, some haven’t. Like I mentioned above, I haven’t done all that well.  That said Mike the newest member of the Cartel has done quite well, making Brian and I look that much worse.  He raced quite well leading the men’s 4 race until an unfortunate incident at a set of barriers.  Maybe next week.

Barriers: where good races go bad.

The course was long, lots of climbing, and unseasonably cold.  All of which are reasons I site for my poor performance.  However, I look really good in photos I find online after races, so I’ve got that going for me. One bright spot was Zeke and his beer hand-ups during the masters B race.  Nothing keeps you going when you want nothing more than to quit as the knowlege that someone has a beer waiting for you the next time you see them. The sight of the outstretched arm with a beer is a sight for sore eyes (everything else is sore, and I wouldn’t doubt if my eyes were sore too, I don’t recall) The exchange was a bit dicey, most of the brew (Boulevard Pale Ale, a personal favorite btw) ended up on my leg and bike but there was still enough to make it worth while.

Beer hand-ups, it's where it's at. (photo by Laura Keithly)

I have since learned that Paul (pictured above in the blue kit) refused Zeke’s frothy hand out.  Personally I’m saddened to hear of this, I thought better of him and hope it was a mistake.  Boulevard Cup is next Sunday and I hear talk of the course going through the beer tent, oh please god make that happen!!  Beer hand ups will be a plenty, just as they should be.

And you didn’t think I’d forget to make the obvious Kris Kross reference. So go put your skinsuit and helmet on backwards and jump around.

Your welcome.

You might want to think twice before asking me if you ever want to borrow my car, those keys have been in my pee.

ct

OHMYGODTHISISHARDWHENCANIDOTHISAGAIN

It’s official, it’s cyclocross season.  I don’t know about most of you but I’ve been thinking of  this day since I rolled across the finish line on January 6th.

Things have changed since last season, I have a new bike (Jamis Nova Pro), and it fits me unlike the bike I’d been racing on the last two seasons, it fit in theory, but you don’t race on theory.  It’s much smaller 52 vs. 56, it’s much lighter, it has much nicer components, and most importantly it’s much more sexy!

Proper off-season training still escapes me, I should get some proper training, but I’m not currently flush with cash, a luxury I can live without.  Clinics and practice with friends will have to do. At least I know they aren’t doing much more than I am, so I know there will be a few others who have the same fitness level as myself.

Black Sheep Cartel (KCMO) and the two jack-asses who ruined our team photo. photo by Vanessa

The Cartel family has grown too, two more sheep in the Kansas City flock, Brian Chasm formerly of Team Frank Stallone, and Mike Prentice.  Mike’s job seems to make Brian and I look slow.  He is fast and usually does well, this addition may have been a mistake (just joking Mike).

The Kansas City Cup kicks off the season in the heart of Kansas City, Swope Park, not far from the zoo, a new venue for cyclocross in the KC area.  Frankly I wish more races were held in the city, driving all over the region gets old every weekend.  A very interesting venue, no doubt.  Parts look like they could have filmed horror movies there, lots of older looking camping cabins and assorted buildings.  Good thing we were there in the daylight, other wise things could have gotten creepy.  The name even sounds like it belongs in a horror movie, Camp Lake of the Woods.  

The course itself was long and fast, with slightly more single / double track sections than normal, lots more, very little grass sections and a long asphalt straightway, lots of room to gain some serious speed.  A course that a mountain biker would love, Brian and Mike did well, I didn’t.  I’m not what you would call a strong technical rider, in fact I’m very uneasy in the off road sections, on the breaks way too much.  Chasm finally bested me, the string has been broken.  Now if the race officials could pull their heads out and have us listed as Black Sheep Cartel, like it says on our licenses and not Team Colivita / Parassi Coffee, a fine team but not the team I have ridden for 3 seasons.

Other notable happenings, there was a bounce house, Mom and Dad showed up with cow bells and lime flavored beer, and Marcus and Anna made a surprise appearance thought they were in New York.  It was a great day for all, except Zeke and his first lap flat tire.

One race down, 17 or so more to go, see you next week in Lenexa.

xoxo,

ct

Meet The New Guy

The Black Sheep Cartel is growing like the weeds in my neighbors yard. A Mr. Brian Chasm has joined our dysfunctional family after we snatched him from another team, and is happy about it. He’s a dedicated cyclocross practitioner who often finishes in fifth place.

Below is our mid-afternoon G Chat interview.

Brian Chasm: Start interview… now.

Black Sheep Cartel: So why Black Sheep Cartel.

BC: Why BSC?  It’s simple.  You click em in, skib the scabbies, and just crank on those douchers until thems cant be clackin no longer.  Thats why.

BSC: Why do you race cross?

BC: Because I love marshmallow peeps.  The yellow ones.  That and I like losing.  I also like that in a short course like cross, its easily to appear like you are winning, when in fact you are losing by a wide margin.

BSC: You have a habit of “finishing” fifth, something refered to as “Pulling a Chasm” in certain circles, how do you feel about this?

BC: I feel like they are all justified in some way.  Even though it’s usually the result of getting lapped by the first 4 racers, I feel really good about it.

BSC: Has anyone ever protested becausse of the screw up?  It happens quite often.

BC: You know, its never come up. I’m sure they have protested.  I was probably in the bathroom crying when they were though.  So I was none the wiser.

'Cross racer and super hero.

BSC: Any goals for the upcoming season?

BC: To place a little higher, push myself harder.  Due to my refusal to drink light beer and eat healthy, it’s quite the task.  But I hope that I find the drive to better myself this year.  Oh, and I’ll also be getting an annual license this year too.  No more 1 days for me!

BSC: Any advice to the children who follow your cyclocross career?  Do you consider yourself a role model?

BC:  Due to certain laws, the children following my cyclocross career must stay 1,000 feet behind me.  Ha ha!  Oh man I just offended myself.  I think that pretty much answers the role model question too.

BSC: Does that include the juniors who get lumped in with the mens 4’s?

BC: Usually the juniors get lumped with the 35+ b class.  So I’ll let you and Mark creep those kids out.

BSC: Touché.

BSC: Final thoughts about your new team?

BC: For real, I’m stoked and I like I pink argyle.

ct

What The F*#k, And Other Observations Regarding Mountain Bike Racing

So I tried my hand at mountain bike racing at the God’s Country Duathalon (Lawrence Kansas is a long way from what I would call god’s country).  I’ve never done a real mountain bike race before, for one I don’t own a mountain bike and honestly I’ve never much had an intrest for the whole idea to begin with.  That said, I ran across a race fliar for the God’s Country Duathalon and MTB race with a note saying it was cyclocross bike friendly. Sweet, now I don’t have to wait until September to race my new ‘cross bike.  That said, is it really a mountain bike race if your riding a cyclocross bike?

Seeing the flier with the note about being “‘cross friendly” really perked my interest, I decided to do the race and skip the duathalon, I have even less interest in running. Anyway, what the hell, I’m not doing anything else on Saturday afternoon.  So as usual, I leave late and get to the course with hardly any time to spare.  I quickly sign up for the beginner class, along with several others who probably don’t have a drivers license yet.  I think I asked for the group for people who don’t know what they are doing and shouldn’t be out here.

#306 looking fresh, fast and blood free.

I get off with a killer start, I’m flying along like a pro, delusions of grandeur already passing through my head.  I manage to hold the lead for the first mile, and I’m still feeling great, like I’ve been training for this race, which I haven’t.  A couple people squeak by me, but I keep them right in front of me, let them do some of the work, still feeling good, we end up catching the group who went off  a minute before us.  Passing is more difficult than I imagined, lots of trees and gnarly looking rocks and such.  Oh crap, someone stopped dead in their tracks right in front of  me on a steep incline totally killing my momentum forcing me off my bike letting more people by.  I manage to catch most of those who got by me, and I’m still feeling good.

The next thing I notice is a yellow jersey flying through the air coming off a jump in the middle of the course drifting right towards me as if he is a magnet and I’m a refrigerator door.  He hits me, hits me really f*#king hard, driving me into a tree the size of a telephone pole, adding insult to injury we’re rear-ended by the guy following us.  I don’t actually fall down, I smash into the tree somehow staying upright while dumb and dumber are sprayed out on the ground behind me.  I hear, “Is everybody alright?” coming from the bottom of the pile.  I’m still a bit confused, why am I bleeding and fused to a tree, but nothing seems to be broken.  I straighten out my break hoods and try to take off, when I notice my back wheel isn’t spinning, the break pads are now wedged under the rim.  Fixing this takes ages, in fact I think I’m still fixing them it took so long.  Meanwhile everyone is passing me; women, children, and people who accidentally entered the race thinking it was a charity ride.

I had some work to do, catch the flying man in the maillot jaune for one.  I manage to catch the children and the overweight guys in baggy shorts, basketball shoes and flat pedals.  Then I hit a root on a downhill and tumble ass over tea kettle I believe the term is.  I manage to get my leg caught in the curvy part of my handlebars while somehow still clipped in.  It took time to extricate myself out of this position, did I mention my bike is on top of me?   A feat the Great Houdini would be proud of.  Now I have to catch people again, I’m sure they think that the dude in the pink jersey who they keep passing while hugging trees is a total idiot.  At this point I would tend to agree with them.  Thank god there were no cameras to record any of this.

I finish the remanning several miles of the race without incident (not hitting trees, or people in yellow jerseys) with a nice stream of blood trickling down my legs and arm, somehow finishing in what I believe is 5th place.   I’m not going to complain, that’s better than I thought I’d do.

Badge of honor or biohazard?

I found blood on the frame and break leavers when I got the bike home, I’m not washing it off!

Chicks dig scars, right?

ct

Desperately Seeking Susan, er I Mean Motivation.

Motivation is desperately lacking, The only race I’ve done since CX season ended was done inside a bar lasting less than a minute, Coldsprints (a Minneapolis take on Goldsprints), the first lasted 20 seconds and the second was a bit longer, 30 seconds.  I discovered I can’t spin at all, give me a bike with two wheels, gears and some barriers to jump over and I’ll do fine.

Coldsprints at Harlings

Every weekend I want to race it has snowed or I was out of town.  It barely snowed during cross season and now that road season has rolled around it seems to snow every weekend.  Not that I would do well, I haven’t trained enough to even think I might finish the race let alone do well.  Unlike ‘cross, I’m never sure when the race will end, it’s nice knowing your race will only last 45 minutes and you can return to your lawn chair near the beer cooler.

If you happen to see me getting lapped or bringing up the back of the pack you’ll know why (laziness).  Maybe you’ll see me at either the Spring Fling crit series this Saturday or the Joseph Shehann 50 mile race on Sunday in Leavenworth.

When does ‘cross season start again?

Oh yeah, I saw 3 kick ass pro cyclocross racers while crossing the Golden Gate Bridge a few weeks ago, Rachael Lloyd and the Jacque-Maynes’s (they were all wearing the blue and red Cal Giant jackets, hard to miss).  They blew by me  like they were taking the hole shot, before I realized who it was I couldn’t get my camera out in time to get a good shot or say something stupid.  I’m sure they would have laughed at me, I was riding the most rediculus bike I’ve ever ridden, a Giant Sedona, imagine a bar stool with pedals and handlebars.  However, it’s better than nothing I suppose.  I planned on renting a road bike but the last one was taken by the person right in front of me (procrastination strikes again, if I hadn’t dicked around at the Chrome store down the street… oh well).

The bike must have weighed at least 600 lbs yet I still rode it up some of the steepest streets San Francisco has to offer.  I climbed Telegraph Hill and got to the top of the Marin Headlands on that beast as well.  I don’t care how much it costs, next time I’m bringing my bike.

ct

At least nobody I know saw me ride this.

A Euro-rific Recap.

The Boulevard Cup was a “Belgian style” cyclocross race, I’m still not sure what that is supposed to mean, I paid my entry fee with dollars not euros, I didn’t see Sven Nys nor anyone selling pommes frites and waving the flag of Flanders.  All I can say is it was fun, fast and a bit muddy in spots.  The Wyandotte County Park course was long, mostly grass, grass as thick as shag carpeting from the 70’s, one paved straightaway and three sets of barriers, a marked difference from last weeks race at Clinton Lake with it’s abundance of single track sections and gravel roads.  Just yards away from last years US National Championship course where the best of the best came to fight it out for the stars and stripes jersey.

One thing that has yet to change this season is the size of the mens cat 4 race, as usual it was a large affair, a clusterf*@k if you will, with 51 racers, plus the women’s 4 and juniors.  That first left turn off the pavement at the start is a frightening place, elbow to elbow, wheel to wheel flying across that ditch at 25 + mph / 40 + kph hoping that the guy in t-shirt and flat pedals isn’t gonna freak out, loose his mind and jam on the breaks taking out half of the field. (it was a Belgium styled race after all, and those nutty Belgians dig metric system along with mayonnaise on their frites)

Black Sheep did well, but probably won’t be making the pages of the next issue of Cyclocross Magazine. BSC didn’t win and wasn’t humiliated either, finishing in the meaty part of the curve. (It’s good to have goals however modest they may be; beat Chasm, Zeke, Joshua, Paul and Marcus, not get lapped, or get beat by a junior and fall down in front of the cameras doing something stupid, and to finish as muddy as possible…)

Now I’m not one who normally points fingers, however, I’m of the opinion that 1/4 to 1/3 of the 4’s are hibitual sandbaggers who could and should easily compete with the 3’s or 3-4’s.  Congratulations you just beat a bunch of beginners, I hope that makes you feel good. I don’t want to sound like a sore looser here but, come on guys it’s like the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer dominates his karate dojo only because he is fighting children.  

 

I hear Belgium is beautiful, rainy and wet.  My grandfather always told stories of his time in Belgium while in the Army during WWII, the only area he ever wanted to see again, unfortunately he never made the return trip.  Hopefully I can make the trip for him, I’d love to find all the locations I heard about when I was little and see where the roots of cyclocross began.  I just wish I had the dough to do it,  any donations would be greatly appreciated.  I have some WWII era Belgium money which is probably worthless now as currency since they use the Euro now, but it’s a start.
Lets hope the Black Sheep in North Carolina had a good race, it’s their first race of the season, NCCX race #1, chick n’ Cross at Comp Park BMX Track in Garner, NC. Saturday and NCCX race #2 in Cary NC at Bond park Sunday.

See you Saturday and Sunday at Sailboat Cove on the shores of beautiful Smithville Lake in Smithville, MO.

ROCK THE PINK!

ct

My race photo set

Tooting Ones’ Own Horn

I’m not one to brag about my accomplishments.  However, I’m going against type here grabbing my horn, checking the spit valve and blowing it until the neighbors threaten to call the police.  

I’ve been racing cross now for almost a full year and haven’t really had much to show for it, aside with some mysterious stains on my jersey that won’t wash out.  Don’t get me wrong, I do okay, I can usually be found in the middle of the pack doing what I can to keep up and fending off those behind me.  You can yell “on your left” all day long, I’m not pulling aside and let you pass me, you have to work for it, this is a race not a group ride.  

Men’s cat 4 can be a challenge, a mix of sandbaggers too afraid to cat up, and the guys who decided last night over a few beers that they want to race ‘cross on heavy ass mountain bikes with flat pedals. Men’s Masters 35+ B is a totally different animal, every bit as competitive, a bit more grey around the temples and a smaller field.  

A goal I set for myself was to finish in the top ten sometime this season along with a laundry list of other more outrageous and probably impossible tasks.  I should have finished in the top 10 last year at the last race of the season but I got screwed, I was unaware you could protest the results.  So this will be my first “official” top 10 finish, that is unless someone challenges the results and I get bumped down. 

The race itself was a challenge, probably the most difficult course this year.  Lots of long climbs intothe wind off the lake which felt like they would never end.  It felt like the entire course was uphill, I know that’s not possible.  It felt like I was trapped in a MC Escher painting constantly climbing a set of stairs that never end.

It’s nearly impossible to tell where your standing, they mix in the Masters 45+, 55+ B’s along with Women’s 4, and Juniors too.  Unless you know everyones ones age it’s nearly impossible to say where you are in the grand scheme of things, plus you have more important things to be thinking about. Just ride as hard as you can and let the officials sort everything out.  

We’ll see how it goes tomorrow, for day two of the Smithville Cyclocross Festival.

ct

click for my photos

Wow, Money Does Grow On Trees! Day 2 At The Smithville CX Fest.

Day two of the Smithville Cyclocross Festival was much different than day one.  The Cross Guru altered several sections of the course giving it a much different feel, not as many straight-aways, adding areas that were not used on Saturday, and altered the approach to the steep ass run up which preventing everyone who dared to ride it, a few could, most didn’t. Cameron Chambers attempted to ride it today and destroyed his beautiful Podium cyclocross machine.  The biggest difference was the weather, temps were about the same, mid 50’s but today a front moved through bringing wind gusts clocked at 45 – 50 mph whipping off the lake according to AMS accredited local weatherman Brian Busby.

video from Schmidtbox

Mens 4 was smaller than day 1, but still drawing the biggest field.  It’s always great to see new people coming out to try out cyclocross for themselves.  Most seem to enjoy the experience once they finish, as is the case most spend a good deal of time during the race wondering why the hell they thought cyclocross would be fun.  I’m still thinking the same thing myself, but damn it’s a good time!

Unfortunatly Black Sheep wouldn’t break into the top 10 again today.  Someone wisely rode my wheel letting me pull them up the last twisty climb into the wind. Once they crested the hill and got out of the wind they shot by and I wasn’t able to catch them again.  I can live with an eleventh place finish. Did I mention it was super windy?  

 

The magic money tree.

I’m not a botanist or arborist but a freak of nature seems to be growing near Sailboat Cove. This particular specimen seems to be growing currency, one dollar bills to be exact.  They are a fast growing species too, regenerating dollars about once an hour just in time for each race. Hmmmm, very odd.  

I was able to collect several of these dollars in hopes of growing my own money tree once I got home.  This could be very fortunate given our current economic situation.  Apearently your parents are wrong, money in fact does grow on trees. I came home $6 richer.

ct

 

click for my photos

Hippies & Halloween

So much for the plans many of us made this week.  With Halloween (by the way, the best holiday of the year) falling on a Friday and two races scheduled for this weekend, many of us choose to go out Friday night and celebrate Halloween with friends and have a good time, sleep off our hangovers on Saturday, skipping Boss Cross I at Tiffany Springs Park.  Feeling refreshed no longer reeking of booze and candy corn then race Sunday at the Sunflower Cyclocross Race at Clinton Lake State Park.  It’s difficult enough to get one’s lazy ass out of bed the morning of any race, but compounding Halloween on top of that is just too much to take.  ’Cross can be miserable enough but racing with a hangover isn’t any fun, trust me.

Come to find out the Kansas Department of Wildlife and Parks has put a hold on all special events at Clinton Lake State Park for the rest of the year, and likely into 2009, (only days before the scheduled cyclocross race). This affects the cyclocross race planned for Sunday. All special events (even those held on paved areas) have been put on hold “to allow the park grounds to sufficiently recover from the Wakarusa Music Festival”.  Stupid hippies!  Who knew jam bands are bad for the environment?

This is the lamest excuse I’ve heard in a long time. The Wakarusa Music Festival was in early June, nearly six months ago.  Plus they have had many other events at Clinton Lake since, a few triathlons, and the Chris Cross International Cyclocross Race in early October.  The park and grounds looked fine, races have little impact on the grounds especially since it has been dry, it’s difficult to tell anything has ever happened a few days after the event.  If you had come to Chris Cross you would have never know that there was a huge music festival was held there several months ago.   If they were concerned about the state of their grounds post festival you would think they would deny access soon after the festival, not six months later. 

Maybe having a weekend off isn’t such a bad idea.  The Smithville races really took it out of me, four races in two days was exhausting and took several days for the aches and pains to go away.  Neither the Sunflower race or Boss Cross I are a part of the De Stad Cyclocross Van Kansas Series so if we miss these races it will not affect our series points.  Somehow I’ve managed to rack up enough points to find myself 6th in the Masters Mens 35+ B group, cat 4 isn’t quite as impressive, 63rd but it’s a much bigger group.

There should be no excuse to have a bad day at the Veterans Cross next weekend in Leavenworth KS. 

Hopefully the Black Sheep in Charlotte have a bit more discipline and not spend their weekend drinking beer and eating leftover fun sized candy bars while dressed in ridiculous costumes.

NCCX race #4, Lenior Cyclocross is in Lenior, NC, Sunday Nov 2.  

Good luck guys, Cartel power!!

Veterans Cross Re-cap

Leavenworth, KS is a odd place, not only are lots of people in jail and nobody knows where anything

is. One would think a clerk at a connivence store would know the lay of the land and where the high school is. Nope, two different gas stations were clueless, turns out that a guy from South Dakota who was also in the BP station knew just where it was and how to get there.  Some streets have numbers some don’t, it makes no sence, maybe it’s to confuse anyone who breaks out of prison or guys looking for a cyclocross race.

Pre-registration allows you not only a swag bag of chamois butter and various flavors of energy gels but it also gets you called up to the front of the starting grid.  Thinking this might ease some of the terror that is the first minute of a cat 4 race I went ahead and paid my money early.  It made no difference, I wasn’t able to get out ahead of the mob far enough to miss the cluster f*#k that the first turn gives, as usual someone goes down and gets ran over several times.  Better him than me I’m thinking as I ride over his front wheel because there is no other place for me to go.  I felt I raced a good race, I beat a few guys I wanted to beat, a few beat me, actually many many people beat me.  There were a few dicey moments where gravity and poor bike handling skills by others caused me a few moments of finding myself tangled up in my frame sitting on the ground trying to figure out how I got there, but that is cyclocross.  You get back up and pedal as hard as you can to pass the idiot who decided to dismount halfway up an easy hill right in front of you.  

Poor cycling skills were not the scariest part of the race, it was an odd turn off a gravel road and onto a concrete staircase that led up to a football field, disaster was lurking if you were not careful.  Concrete stairs are nothing new, they pop up all the time, it was the approach where the danger was posed. (The stairs were eliminated for the last few races to nobodies disappointment.)  Like every race this season mens 4 is the largest field by far and for some reason I find myself getting worse each week, today I was on the second page when standings were posted, not good.  I blame society.

Men’s Master B’s is usually my time to shine, I’ve been finishing in or near the top 10 all season long. Again I got a front row start which was a bit less terrifying than the 4’s race, no first turn wipeouts.  I managed to keep myself near the front of the pack for the first few laps.  As soon as I started to feel comfortable I somehow lost control of my finely tuned, demon free cyclocross machine and eat it hard, tearing open a scab on my knee from a previous race, always a nice touch.  To make things worse I loose my chain, normally not a big deal but I’ve recently installed a chain protector on the seat tube to keep my chain from coming off.  Somehow the chain got past it when I fell, I pulled and pulled trying to get the chain past the do-dad that normally keeps the chain from falling off.  As this is happening everyone I’ve kept behind me so far is now flying by me like mad, even the juniors on their tiny little bikes. (I’m pretty sure someone has it on video or at least photos) I finally get it on, I get on and find myself way behind everyone, expecting to get lapped at any minute.  

Knowing my current spot in the series point standings was in jeopardy (6th before todays race) I had to defend my spot at all cost, I pedal my ass off making my way back up through the ranks passing people I haven’t seen since lap one.  I manage to catch my cycling nemesis, Eric from GP Velo Tek on the bell lap, small victories.  I’m currently unsure of how I did, we left before the standings were posted.  Adding insult to minor injuries, I was on the wrong end of someone’s snot rocket all down my left thigh, gross!

Mens’s Cat 4 Lap 1

Men’s Masters B 35+  Funny moment at the end where I cut the tape.

Let’s hope the Black Sheep in Charlotte didn’t get snotted on too this weekend at NCCX race #5 in Sandhills Community College in Pinehurst, NC.  Go Team!

ct

Charlotte Team Update

The NCCX Series has finally updated their site and published the results of the first five races in their series. I’m happy to discover that Black Sheep Cartel is kicking ass and I’m hoping taking names.  

Alan Wages finished 11th in Cary, 9th the next week in Boone, in the masters 35+ and a strong showing in cat 3 race in Lenior last weekend.

It’s great to see Black Sheep Cartel doing well, keep up the great work guys!!

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday…

Sunday was the last race in the De Stad Cross Cup / Kansas State Cyclocross Championships held on the campus of St. Mary’s College in Leavenworth, KS.  Side note, you may have read about St. Mary’s College lately, last season their mens basketball program has refused to play with a female officiating their games. You could have not asked for a nicer day in November for a race, it was a bit brisk early on in the day but by mid afternoon it had warmed up enough to shed a few layers, it’s always tricky to figure out just how to dress this time of the season. Plus the weather can be completely different when you leave Kansas City and arrive in Leavenworth.   

The course was unique thanks to the layout of St Mary’s campus; tree lined brick roads, ponds full of geese, “The Mound of Mercy” a big dirt run up thanks to ongoing construction, a unique and maddening corkscrew maze near the grave yard, there’s something you don’t see at most races, on the far side of the course.  And enough leaves on the ground to make you feel your in an episode of the Dukes of Hazzard (it could be in the middle of summer and the roads of Hazzard County were always coverd in leaves). It was a relatively short course and was fast too.  It offered something to make the most jaded crosser happy.   I now understand why they keep using this venue year after year.

Things could have been a little better in the Mens 4 race, my first row start got me out in front with a few guys but I quickly fell a few places towards the back as soon as we left the brick street.  I did my best to keep up with the leaders but I just didn’t seem to have the legs to keep up their pace, typical for me.  As always I find myself in a no-mans land between the leaders in front and the stragglers in back.  It becomes difficult to judge just where you stand after a few laps when the field tends to stretch out and what pace you need to keep.  I’d pass guys on the bricks and then they would catch me on the off chamber areas, I really need to work on that. You play your strengths and try to hang on in areas where your not as comfortable.  Due to some stupid choices during the race I fell back a bit farther than I would have liked and finished further back than I’d like to admit.  Some races you just don’t have it. I did do better than the Chiefs, god they suck.

Black Sheep climbs the "Mound of Mercy"

 

My second race, Mens Masters 35+ B was much better.  Again, I got a good start, and hung with the leaders longer than usual.  Then I had some issues with physics and gravity, finding myself on my ass taking a turn to fast and having my back wheel slide out from under me.  That probably cost me a few spots, I caught a few who passed me while I was laying there in the grass like an idiot.  I just didn’t have enough time to catch the guys I had my eye on earlier in the race.  It really sucks when you feel really good, your legs feel strong aren’t cramping up, your lungs aren’t on fire and you go and crash.  I was hoping to finish in the top 10 again, earning enough points to break into the top 5 in series points. Unfortunately that didn’t happen and I ended up 6th in points.  It’s frustrating to be so close but have it go a different way, but that’s how cyclocross can be, an unloving brutal bitch.  But I wouldn’t want it to be any other way, it’s hard, and it wouldn’t be any fun if it was easy.

No need for a pitty party, there are plenty of races left on the schedule this season.  Plus I’m not a Kansas resident and wouldn’t have been crowned champion even if I had won.  Yet another reason to dislike Kansas.

We need to get Roger some new music, I can’t take the disco crap he keeps playing any longer. Please make it stop!!!

ct

BRUTAL!

Much like pimpin’ cyclocross ain’t easy, especially when it’s snowing.  The flakes began to fall yesterday but didn’t stick since the ground was too warm, overnight the ground temp. dropped enough for the snow to begin to accumulate, it’s nothing much, just enough to cover the grass. However all the melted snow made the ground soggy and the grass was quickly chewed up and turned to mud over nearly the entire course. Finally, a down and dirty, cold as f@&k cyclocross race.  Boss Cross II was not for the timid or week of heart.

Climbing the run-up in the new BSC jersey. Pretty boss, eh?

The weather really scared off a good deal of the field, most categories were about half the size as the turnout the last few weeks, fair weather cyclists I suppose, probably at the mall.  It’s their loss, ‘cross is at it’s best in nasty weather.  It was obvious that things were going to be a challenge as soon as the first race went off.  It looked like they were going in slow motion, and half of the field was running their bike instead of riding.  It was at that moment everyone knew things were not going to be easy.  But, cyclocross isn’t easy, it wouldn’t be any fun if it was easy. 

Eventually our race rolls around and we’re off, things go well up the asphalt road then you hit the off road area and sink into mud that’s deeper than your rims, your in your granny gear and your back wheel just spins, nothing for the knobbies to grab onto, you soon realize why it looked like the previous race was going in slow motion and your gonna be doing a lot of running, pushing and carrying.  It’s gonna be a long race, hope your good at shouldering your bike.

So far this season it has been about speed and power, today it’s all about bike handling. Who ever stays upright and avoids stupid mistakes will prevail, a very technical race.  I battled it but found myself on the ground far too often. All of the good lines quickly disappeared and the course was riddled with very tight turns especially in the off chamber sections, if you were able to stay upright you spent most of the time with one leg out trying to navigate the turns.  

I’d have to say, this was possibly the best time I’ve had at a ‘cross race this season, you guys who pussed out missed a great race.  Sure it was cold and my fingers went numb and my bike and I were covered in mud.  But damn, it was so much fun! Plus, I got to break out the new Black Sheep Cartel jersey, it’s bad ass, it looks great, pink and black and covered in mud!

ct

p.s. Craig, if your reading this, let this serve as your warning, I will get you back for that snowball to the side of my head.

Poll

Cancelled, Again.

What is it with cyclocross races in Lawrence this season? Hawk Cross this weekend was cancelled, just like Sunflower Cross before it. LAME! 

I’m sure there is no connection between the two… or is there (cue conspiratorial music from the X-Files)

Well in that case I’ll see you at KCCX the National Cyclocross Championships this coming week and weekend, Dec 11-14 at Tiffany Springs Park here in good ‘ol Kansas City, MO.

KCCX, 4 Days of Cyclocrossness

A lot can happen in four days, a couple of thousand of the best cyclocross racers grouped into 37 categories with 24 races all conveniently converging in my hometown, how awesome is that?  Kansas City has now hosted the USCF National Cyclocross Championships 3 times and now twice in the last two years.  Each race was as important as the elite race, everyone from the youngest junior racer to the oldest of the masters put everything on the line trying to take home the stars and stripes jersey, knowing they are the best in the nation.

Ryan Trebon KCCX '08 champ, Jonathan Page & Todd Wells

A trip to the Port-O-John turned into the most exciting moment of the four days.  I was finishing up after taking care of business and the door swings open,  I frantically try to try to grab the door so not to expose myself to everyone waiting in line, as I glance up to see who is trying to get into my disgusting plastic throne room it turns to be Katie Compton, who soon will become the 2008 Women’s US National Chamion.  I didn’t know what to do, quickly pull up my pants so not to expose myself or ask for an autograph, stupidly I pull up my pants. We both realized the lock as broken, she apologized and patiently waited her turn.  I zip up, exit and she hops in to finish getting dressed only a few minutes before the call-ups for the women’s elite race.  

You would think one of the worlds best CX racers would have a better place to get dressed than a dirty, stinking port-a-potty, just like people do at local races.   As she emerged I ask her if I could get a quick photo, only to discover the cold weather has played havoc with the batteries and the camera won’t work.  We share a quick laugh as she finishes zipping up her skinsuit and heads down to the staging area for her call-up.  I’m sure she would agree, it truly was a special moment we shared in that stinking portable toilet, I know it was for me.

Katie Compton, KCCX '08 champ & bathroom buddy

Aside from my bathroom rondevux with Katie Compton the most memorable event would have to be the conditions themselves.  Last years championships were marked forever with some of the worst conditons ever seen at the National Championships, snow and ice storms and sub zero temps plagued all four days of racing.  It looked like we might be in for some nasty weather the proceeding weeks to this years races as well, even a snow storm on the days proceeding the start of this years championships.  Whatever snow we had melted early the first day of racing, turning the course into pure mud.  Plus, it was a very fan friendly set up, very easy to get around without having to cross the course all the time.  

What's left of Wednesday's snow.

Eventually the course began to dry out leaving it fast and tacky and seemed to be entirely up hill. I know that’s not possible, but once you rode it you would understand.  Brutally long up hill sections with very few places to catch your breath, a course built for power and endurance.  All the while airliners scream overhead taking off or landing at nearby KCI.

The instantaneous 30 degree temperature drop Sunday morning was bizarre and unwelcome. One second it’s 60 degrees, a second later 30. By the time I got home the temperature had plunged over 50+ degrees and was in the middle of a blinding snowstorm with a winter weather advisory.  Good luck getting your flight out Sunday night.  Many people were caught totally unaware, showing up in shorts and a light jacket, who would have guess the forecast could have been so wrong. However it was still better than 2007s snow and ice fest.

Cyclocross fans are awesome!

The women’s collegiate field was caught a terrible situation, the race started in the 60’s and finished in viscous winds and temps in the 30’s.  Lot’s of bare legs and short sleeve kits, exposed skin by the end was a painful looking bright red. Sorry ladies. It makes me cold just to thinking of it. Midwestern weather, if you don’t like it, wait a day and it will change.

Booze, there was much more than this.

Watching the elite races was awe inspiring and completely frustrating.  Their fitness levels are so beyond anything I could ever approach and make every action look so easy.  They seem to be going as fast on the last lap as they were on the first, navigating the barriers and run-ups like they were not even there.  It also brings out the element that I feel makes cyclocross so unique, a circus like atmosphere. You have the people who show up in shark costumes dragging around a full keg of beer and a couch, the shirtless guys with rainbow wigs wearing Jeremy Powers stickers like pasties and guys in drag.  There are piles of empty beer cans and bottles of liquor everywhere, cow bells ringing, people screaming at the racers and the ones offering up beer and cigarettes as people race by.  It’s even better when they stop and slam the beer before jumping back on the bike frantically chasing after everyone who passed them while they were drinking a beer.  And bumping into the elite racers who are just hanging out before and after their races. I think I stepped on Georgia Gould’s foot after the elite mens race as we are walking through the expo tent on the way to the car.  Sorry Georgia, for stepping on your foot and probably saying something really stupid too.

Sunday Best

Weekend check list.

• Nearly exposing myself to US Women’s Champion Katie Compton. Check. 
• Have my camera malfunction and not get a photo or autograph with Katie Compton.  Check. 
• Step on Georgia Gould’s foot and say something dumb. Check.
• Get a high five from US Men’s Champion Ryan Trebon as he nears the finish line. Check.
• Wear a suit and tie to a bike race. Check. 
• Talk a friend into wearing one too.  Check.
• Have Larry Rosa take a kick ass photograph of myself.  Check.
• Wait too long to register for my race and find that the window has closed. Check.
• Bring my bike with me anyway and ride the course.  Check.
• Drink too much, shout idiotic things to racers, and ring a cowbell while doing both. Check, check and check.
• Stay out ’til 3 am drinking with the guys from Mafia Racing. Check.
• Meeting all of the cyclocross people I’ve only seen on the internet or Cyclocross Magazine.  Check.
• Will I miss not having the championship race in KC again for the next however many years. Check. 
• Repeatedly update this post because I keep finding numerous typos and grammatical errors. Check.

Looks like I’ll be headed out of town next December, Oregon perhaps? 

ct

Click here to see my KCCX photo set on flickr.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmahannaquanzfestivbirthvous and a happy new year!!

 

Merry Christmas and a happy new year!

Boss Cross Mud Run

There are some people who are willing to pay good money to visit a spa and have mud slathered all over their bodies, then there are others who skip the spa visit and enter a cyclocross race and end up with just as much mud on them at end and pay a whole lot less.

Boss Cross yet again takes the prize for the worst conditions of the season, a title that isn’t set in stone, there are 3 more races this season.  If you thought Boss Cross II in November was bad, Boss Cross III was even worse, the only upside was it much warmer.  Both were a muddy mess, testing your endurance and sanity.  

Spinning beats while spinning in the mud.

I’d actually been looking forward to this race for months, I worked for an IT company and my office overlooked the park where this race is held every year.  It sat there and taunted me all summer.   There’s nothing worse that being mid July and dreaming of cx season, seemingly so far away. 

I managed to break several of my new rules for this season; I stayed out til 3 am drinking with friends at our annual holiday drink-a-thon, once home I couldn’t fall asleep, I got up late and had a less than ideal breakfast, and then I didn’t pre ride the course.  I aimlessly rode around checking a few areas of the course just to see where the tough spots might be (turns out everything that wasn’t on pavement was the tough spots.)

Looking nice and clean.

Despite my total lack of preperation I felt surprisingly strong and fast, I managed to get a really good start but got pushed into the tape on the first tight corner, crap.  I was able to free myself and was able to make my way back up to where I was before I went into the tape.  I was passing people like a mad man and feeling really strong despite riding in mud deeper than my rims, after all there was a beer prime for the fastest first lap.  I stumbled a bit in the sand pit loosing my chain loosing several places fixing the trouble.  Again, I was able to make my way back to my previous spot, still feeling strong I was able to pick off a few more guys.  Maybe I should keep disregarding my training regiment and race day preparation routine.

No longer clean.

Things just seemed to go my way, I was able to find rideable lines hugging the tape. The center of the lanes were already chewed up and nearly unrideable.   I was unsure what I should half the times, should I spend my energy spinning in the mud finding an occasional clean line or should I get off and run the stupid thing, something I really dislike.  (I took up cycling so I didn’t have to run.)  The course kept getting worse by the minute, eventually I had little choice and had to run.  I’ve never ran that much in a cx race, insane.  It looked like the cx races I watch on Crosstube in Portland or Belgium all we were missing was rain.

Ultimate question, run or ride?

Things then went to hell, I managed to do an impressive endo crossing a drainage ditch with a good 6 inches of water and mud at least as deep.  Things got squirrely at the bottom of the ditch and before I knew what happened I had finished a summersault that would make an olympic gymnast proud and lost the chain yet again, f@#k!  

I made my way back to my previous spot, again.  Not paying attention to my computer so I had no real idea of how long we had been riding but I knew we were doing at least 3 laps, the course was extremely long and extremely slow.  I was really pissed when I noticed they were pulling people at the start / finish line, my plans were shot to hell, I had my sights on several more guys I knew I could catch if give another lap.  Sure I was covered in mud as was my bike from trudging through ankle deep mud but was feeling so good I didn’t care I just wanted to keep fighting my way ahead.  Who knows how things would have turned out if I didn’t have to play catch up nearly the whole race, but it’s ‘cross and things like that happen.  It turns out we were averaging 20 minute laps.  All in all, it was my best race of the season, but without much to show for it.

 

mud and blood

It was so much fun, Brian brought out the Pugsly, totally ridiculous but he was able to float over areas where normal cx tires couldn’t go, perfect for the sand pits and soupy mud. Plus, Jeremy had his turn tables spinning vintage vinyl, pumping out some dope beats from on top of a motor coach.

The Pugsley, not as ridiculous as first thought.

‘Crossed Off The New Year In Style

There are few sports that allow, or actually encourage adults to dress up in stupid costumes and compete, cyclocross being the only one I can think of.  I’m not sure just what it is about cx that encourages this behavior, but it does and I think it’s one of the things that makes ‘cross so f*#king awesome.  Anyone who has an internet connection has seen videos of scores of idiots racing cx in drag, costume, and occasionally nothing but shoes, helmet and a whole lot of Chamois Buttr’.

I thought it was high time that the local cross community experience a bit of style. I pulled my moisture wicking, somewhat cycling friendly thrift store suit out of the closet and donning it for Series 60’s ‘Cross Off The New Year CX Race on New Years Eve ‘08.  To look at it you would never know it came from a thrift store; 100% wool, no moth holes and it doesn’t even smell funny.  I almost felt guilty racing in it, then I remembered it didn’t cost me a dime and if it got dirty I could either have it cleaned or throw it away.  I doubt any thrift shop would accept a mud covered suit with pockets full of sand.

Adding a touch of class.

Coincidentally several others showed up in something not made of lycra, so I wasn’t the lone idiot wearing something stupid.  I’d love to see this continue, along with more beer hand-ups, trees covered in dollar bills…  Hmmm, I wonder where my Spiderman halloween costume is?

My biggest concerns was getting the crotch of my slacks catching the back of the saddle when remounting or strangling myself with my tie.  I’ve had a few disasters trying a remount while wearing anything but cycling shorts or tights, ouch, and not a pretty sight.  Luckily the slacks are a bit tight in the waist and crotchal areas and never caught the saddle, nor did I get my tie caught in my drive train while shouldering and running the bike, a clip on tie might be a bit safer. 

Looking stylish was my only motivation, I’m afraid I would have quit the race if dressed differently, something I have never done.  I have never felt physically worse during a cx race, I was dead, nothing in the tank to keep me going.  I had one good lap in me and the following laps were something out of a bad dream.  All of which was very disappointing since I had felt so good at Boss Cross III three days earlier.

Everyone was going on and on about how hard Boss Cross III was, with the ankle deep mud and 20 minute lap times. Personally I felt that the ‘Cross Off The Year course was much more difficult, even though it was dry and nearly mud free. There was that one muddy run-up but that was nearly the extent of the mud.  

I didn’t even check the standings, I went straight to the keg of beer, Boulevard Double Wide I.P.A.  Sometimes it’s best not knowing how bad you did, I know there were many people behind me, so at least I didn’t finish last, or get beat by a junior.

Napoleon Dynamite possibly?

I was amazed by the turnout, who knew there were that many unemployed or unemployable cyclocross racers.  I had delusions of grandeur, hoping everyone would not be able to get off work to race on a Wednesday afternoon and I could manage a podium spot.  No such luck.

We now have two more cx races this season, Epic Holiday Cross Sunday and the Grote Prijs Shawnee the following Sunday.  I can’t believe it’s almost over, it seems like the first race was only a few weeks ago.  16 races to date, and 2 more to go.  

Looking good, feeling spent.

ct

17°

I hate winter, here’s why.  If you go outside for too long in any season but winter you probably won’t die or loose some fingers or toes.  I think anyone who claims winter as their favorite season is either lying, stupid or Canadian. Unfortunately for me cyclocross falls in the autumn and winter months and there’s not much I can do to change that, nor would I really want to, ‘cross should be miserable. And when your racing and it’s 17° it’s pretty miserable. However, I do have a blast riding in less than ideal weather, gasp, dare I say winter.  It’s so much fun to ride in the snow, slush, mud and what ever else Mother Nature and the course designers come up with.  But once that is over I want the snow gone and the temps to rise high enough so my fingers don’t turn black and fall off.  

Some ran, some rode, I crashed (crash not pictured).

Staying warm at a ‘cross race can often be more difficult than the race, especially if your new to racing.  Fortunately I’ve gotten to the point where I have a good idea what to wear for most situations.  When it’s 17° (that’s -8° Celsius for anyone who’s into the metric system) all bets are off.  Some people are ridiculously overdressed and others who are way undressed, I guess it’s based what your are able to put up with.  Personally, I felt fine, not cold at all, well my face was cold but I can’t deal with a balaclava, having my mouth and nose covered freaks me out, I’m slightly claustrophobic.  I had 2 pairs of wool socks, tights and knee warmers, all under my skinsuit with my team jersey on top, gloves and the beanie I got for volunteering at KCCX. I really wasn’t even cold after I took off my jacket on the starting line.  It’s like learning to remount while running, you do it enough and eventually you figure it out and it’s no big deal. Maybe it’s all the pink?

The Epic Holiday race is really fun, for one it’s in a shopping center.  The course weaves in and out of buildings, brick parking lots and yet to be developed sections full of big rocks used as barriers.  The course was flat and pretty frozen but was getting softer and muddier as the races progressed despite the air temp.  I finished with some mud on my bike, no big deal but the race after mine became a muddy mess, hoping you have someone in the pits washing your other bike, a luxury I don’t have yet. That said, if you have an extra 52 cm cyclocross bike sitting around that I could use as a pit bike send me a message.

A touch of the old world, brick streets.

The first rock barrier was rideable, no higher than a curb.  I was riding it while warming up then crashed on my last attempt which spooked me from riding it in the race.  I laid there on my back with my bike on top of me, both feet still attached to my pedals, like a turtle who got flipped onto its shell, legs flailing in the air. It seemed that it was a 50 / 50 proposition half the field ran it while others rode it. The second stone barrier was way to high for almost everyone to ride, Chasm was the only person I saw riding it, grinding off the ends of his chain ring on each lap. There was even a little fire pit back with all the rocks, a nice addition when your freezing your handle bars off.

R-L Marcus, Chasm, Chris and everyone else. Lap #1.

The big windows of the bike shop provided great views of the course, nice and warm with easy access to the keg of Boulevard Double Wide I.P.A. almost like a luxury suite at the stadium.  

I did well enough, a typical middle of the pack finish, nothing to write home about, but that’s not stopping me from blogging about it.  I finished up the day playing Rock Band, eating Chipotle and drinking beer at Marcus’ house.  It was a good day even though I suck at the drums, 45%, wtf?

ct

Found on Local Cross

This gem was just brought to my attention by frequent reader and the guy who often gives me rides home after races because my ride lost his keys during the race, Craig of Local Cross.

The Bike Whisperer at Boss Cross III.

Pretty funny, I’d have to say it does look like I’m talking to my bike, actually I’m really tired and attempting to hoist the bike to my shoulder by bending over rather than lifting it.  Boss Cross III, a hellish course of ankle deep mud and sand, it makes me tired just thinking about it.  

Just wait till I find a photo of you looking silly.

That’s All Folks.

And so it goes, the 2008-’09 Kansas City area cyclocross season is in the books with the running of the Grote Prijs Shawnee today (Sunday). Without cyclocross to keep me busy I’m not sure what I’ll do with my Sundays now.  Any suggestions?

The Grote Prijs Shawnee is one of the most fun and unique races on the schedule, located in town at a city park the course winds around the park and through “Old Shawnee Town” a faux 1900’s village, with a very fast course.  It’s like riding through a rural and much lamer version of Main Street USA at Disneyland. Unlike last weeks bone chilling temps we were lucky and basked in temps pushing 50.  Aside from whatever the first race of the season is, Grote Prijs Shawnee is always my favorite race of the year.

Grote Prijs Shawnee CX

I’d been doubling up and racing twice in the De Stad Cyclocross Van Kansas series, Mens 4 and Mens Master B 35+ however, the Grote Prijs Shawnee is a part of Series 60 doesn’t offer the Masters B race.  Thinking I did well enough in the Masters B races (finishing 6th in overall series points) I chose to double up again today, Mens 4 and Masters 35+.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, but you know what they say about hindsight.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy but I was much more difficult than I could imagine, these old guys are strong, fast and aggressive which I discovered half way through the first lap.  I got a nice shove into the barrier tape on the back stretch, I’ve got no idea who it was, all I remember was getting hit hard from behind and then someone’s hand on my shoulder giving me the old heave-ho. It may have been an accident, it may have been on purpose, we didn’t stop and chat or exchange insurance information. I was too busy untangling my bike from the barrier tape. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I was able to hang with the main group for 2/3rds of the race, but the last third was where I knew I was in over my head and dialed it back, after all I did have another race in a 20 minutes.  Plus, I’d been lapped by most of the field and my fate was pretty much sealed.  

The bright spot of the race was a well warranted beer hand-up towards the end of the race, knowing my fate, last place (in my age group) I pulled aside and enjoyed my beverage. That was the best High Life I’ve ever had, it’s the champagne of beers after all.  We’ll chalk the Masters A race as a learning experience.  

It's not how you finish, it's how you look finishing!

With that done I had a few minutes to get ready for the 4 race, back to back races aren’t the best of ideas, I don’t recommend it.  I’ve done it before at a crit but never at a cx race.  I shed a few layers of clothes, change numbers and downed some water getting myself back to the starting line.  This race was more to my liking, despite the earlier effort I was able to hang with the pack most of the race but eventually my earlier effort had drained my energy reserves which hampered my final efforts.  

Official Black Sheep Cartel cheering section.

The crowd was spectacular, it was the loudest local race I’ve ever been in, the area near the barriers was lined with people screaming and ringing bells. You could feel the energy while running the barriers, it was electric an incredible feeling.  I even noticed that my parents had come out to watch me ride my bike in circles in the mud.  I still don’t think they quite get what is going on, but they are troopers and ring bells and yell when I ride by.  It’s great to end the season having so much fun. We even ended up on the 10 o’clock news, how cool is that?

ct

I just checked the results, I didn’t finish last place after all in the Masters 35+, 10th place, woo hoo!!!  Yep, I finally pulled a “Chasm.”

A New Day.

January 20, 2009.

Get off the sofa

Chris has been the all out Cartel stud..Alan yet another..Pip- hmmmm $$$ was an issue!

Calling all kids (that means ya’ll): Wanna Rock The Pink this season..Let us know..help spread the word of the Cartel herd!!!!

Pip

Urban CX.

While it had nothing to do with Black Sheep Cartel in any way shape or form I feel I must comment on an underground cyclocross race which we staged over the weekend, the West Bottoms Urban Cyclocross Challenge.

Welcome to the beautiful West Bottoms, and race staging area.

To fill the lull in cycle racing between the end of cyclocross season and the start of road season (it started this weekend actually) several of us over the past few years have developed an underground cycling series.  No USA cycling licenses, very little spandex, and more often than not, no gears or breaks. 

"Barrier Alley", dumpsters, trash bags, old desks...

The West Bottoms Urban Cyclocross Challenge, a full fledged cx race, on par with any cx race you may have raced in the past, with some alterations.  For those unfamilar with Kansas City, Mo, the West Bottoms  looks like a Post-apocalyptic no man’s land home to massive brick warehouses and factories in different degrees of vacancy and disrepair built at the turn of the century.  Basically an area where you can do whatever you please and not worry about what might happen.  A perfect place to set up a cx course.  No parks and rec departments to deal with, down and dirty bare bones show and go cx racing at it’s best.

The loading dock run-up.

 

The course its self was just a bit over a mile in length, complete with your typical cx course offerings; barriers, run up’s, paved roads, and a nice off chamber area as well.  However, this time the barriers were broken down office furniture, dumpsters and bags of trash.  Loading docks were used as run ups.  And you can’t forget the pigeon guano filled alleys, as were a cobble stone street beneath the 12th Street bridge and broken glass as far as the eye can see.  Even a discarded christmas tree found in an alley was drafted into service as a barrier which most ran right over.  

Christmas tree alley.

15 hearty souls showed up, most  unsure what challenges lay ahead of them. Most had never raced a cx race before, and many had no idea what cyclocross even was.  Cross is hard to easily describe let alone trying to describe what our bastardized version would entail.  Things went incredibly well, one guy got pissed that we moved a dumpster and managed to move it blocking off one turn, however the racers were on the ball quickly found another way into the alley filled with guano and broken glass keeping the race going.  

15 started, 14 finished, everyone had fun and somehow there were no flats.  Hopefully we can convince those who enjoyed themselves to come out this fall and try a legit cyclocross race.  Who knows, maybe we can convince them that they should join the Cartel and rock the pink too. (Invitations are always open, contact us for more information.)

West Bottoms Cyclocross Challenge

CLICK FOR PHOTOS

ct

Now that road season is upon us, I really need to figure out what I’m going to do. Racing road on a cx bike was a bad idea, I tried that last year with less than stellar  results, not enough gears to keep up.  I guess I could use my old Bianchi, I suppose with a few upgrades in components it would serve me well enough, it just wouldn’t be as fancy as all of my competitors fancy pants machines.

NC Cyclocross Schedule

2009 NCCX Series

Race 1 – Saturday, October 24, 2009 – Cary, NC

Race 2 – Sunday, October 25, 2009 – Raleigh, NC

Race 3 – Sunday, November 1, 2009 – Boone, NC

Race 5 – Sunday, November 8, 2009 – Salisbury, NC

Race 6 – Sunday, November 15, 2009 – *SCC*Southern Pines, NC

Race 7 – Saturday, November 21, 2009 -*NCGP* – Hendersonville, NC

Race 8 – Sunday, November 22, 2009 -*NCGP* – Hendersonville, NC

Race 9 – Sunday, December 6, 2009 -* FINALS*-Winston Salem, NC

2010 Winter Cup Series

Race 1 – Saturday, January 9, 2010 – , NC

Race 2 – Sunday, January 10, 2010 – , NC

Race 3 – Sunday, January 17, 2010 – Fayetteville, NC

Race 4 – Saturday, January 23, 2010 – , NC

Race 5 – Sunday, January 24, 2010 – , NC

*http://www.nccyclocross.com*