The Black Sheep Cartel is growing like the weeds in my neighbors yard. A Mr. Brian Chasm has joined our dysfunctional family after we snatched him from another team, and is happy about it. He’s a dedicated cyclocross practitioner who often finishes in fifth place.
Below is our mid-afternoon G Chat interview.
Brian Chasm: Start interview… now.
Black Sheep Cartel: So why Black Sheep Cartel.
BC: Why BSC? It’s simple. You click em in, skib the scabbies, and just crank on those douchers until thems cant be clackin no longer. Thats why.
BSC: Why do you race cross?
BC: Because I love marshmallow peeps. The yellow ones. That and I like losing. I also like that in a short course like cross, its easily to appear like you are winning, when in fact you are losing by a wide margin.
BSC: You have a habit of “finishing” fifth, something refered to as “Pulling a Chasm” in certain circles, how do you feel about this?
BC: I feel like they are all justified in some way. Even though it’s usually the result of getting lapped by the first 4 racers, I feel really good about it.
BSC: Has anyone ever protested becausse of the screw up? It happens quite often.
BC: You know, its never come up. I’m sure they have protested. I was probably in the bathroom crying when they were though. So I was none the wiser.
BSC: Any goals for the upcoming season?
BC: To place a little higher, push myself harder. Due to my refusal to drink light beer and eat healthy, it’s quite the task. But I hope that I find the drive to better myself this year. Oh, and I’ll also be getting an annual license this year too. No more 1 days for me!
BSC: Any advice to the children who follow your cyclocross career? Do you consider yourself a role model?
BC: Due to certain laws, the children following my cyclocross career must stay 1,000 feet behind me. Ha ha! Oh man I just offended myself. I think that pretty much answers the role model question too.
BSC: Does that include the juniors who get lumped in with the mens 4’s?
BC: Usually the juniors get lumped with the 35+ b class. So I’ll let you and Mark creep those kids out.
BSC: Final thoughts about your new team?
BC: For real, I’m stoked and I like I pink argyle.