Meet The New Guy

The Black Sheep Cartel is growing like the weeds in my neighbors yard. A Mr. Brian Chasm has joined our dysfunctional family after we snatched him from another team, and is happy about it. He’s a dedicated cyclocross practitioner who often finishes in fifth place.

Below is our mid-afternoon G Chat interview.

Brian Chasm: Start interview… now.

Black Sheep Cartel: So why Black Sheep Cartel.

BC: Why BSC?  It’s simple.  You click em in, skib the scabbies, and just crank on those douchers until thems cant be clackin no longer.  Thats why.

BSC: Why do you race cross?

BC: Because I love marshmallow peeps.  The yellow ones.  That and I like losing.  I also like that in a short course like cross, its easily to appear like you are winning, when in fact you are losing by a wide margin.

BSC: You have a habit of “finishing” fifth, something refered to as “Pulling a Chasm” in certain circles, how do you feel about this?

BC: I feel like they are all justified in some way.  Even though it’s usually the result of getting lapped by the first 4 racers, I feel really good about it.

BSC: Has anyone ever protested becausse of the screw up?  It happens quite often.

BC: You know, its never come up. I’m sure they have protested.  I was probably in the bathroom crying when they were though.  So I was none the wiser.

'Cross racer and super hero.

'Cross racer and super hero.

BSC: Any goals for the upcoming season?

BC: To place a little higher, push myself harder.  Due to my refusal to drink light beer and eat healthy, it’s quite the task.  But I hope that I find the drive to better myself this year.  Oh, and I’ll also be getting an annual license this year too.  No more 1 days for me!

BSC: Any advice to the children who follow your cyclocross career?  Do you consider yourself a role model?

BC:  Due to certain laws, the children following my cyclocross career must stay 1,000 feet behind me.  Ha ha!  Oh man I just offended myself.  I think that pretty much answers the role model question too.

BSC: Does that include the juniors who get lumped in with the mens 4’s?

BC: Usually the juniors get lumped with the 35+ b class.  So I’ll let you and Mark creep those kids out.

BSC: Touché.

BSC: Final thoughts about your new team?

BC: For real, I’m stoked and I like I pink argyle.

ct

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