Oh No, I Might Get Dirty!

Really, are you kidding me? I’m completely dumbfounded, the excuses people have come up with to justify skipping both Boss Cross 4 and the Missouri State Cyclocross Championships (Dec 3-4) are just amazing. People dream of having an epic ‘cross race in the rain, muck, and mud, it doesn’t happen much around here. The CX gods smiled down upon us and gave us just what we wanted, all the wet mud-filled fun we could handle. Well, most of us, I was shocked by the amount of people who bitched out of racing for no other reason than it would get their bike dirty. Oh the horrors!

DSC_0012 copy

Dirty at the moment, clean now. (Jon Peck)

Tweets and Facebook posts were awash with lame reasons why people didn’t race. For example.

“I have to admit, bypassing racing this weekend was… SMART! My bike is all in one piece, clean and it won’t cost me a penny if I want to ride it today! As for 90% of the people who raced locally this weekend, not so much!”

Many of the replies to this post reaffirmed this and added more insanity to the mix, mostly it smacked of laziness. I’d race, but I’m too lame and lazy to get dirty and cleaning a bike is just too difficult for my underdeveloped roadie mind to figure out so I’ll stay home blah blah blah…

Missouri State Cyclocross Championships 2011

Dirty yes, impossible to clean? No.

So, let me get this right, the prospect of having to clean your bike is enough for you to skip a state championship race, one that’s held in your own back yard? It’s idiotic, why are you even racing ‘cross in the first place?

Shitty weather and terrible conditions is what ‘cross is all about, battling your competitors along with the given conditions, this is why cyclocross is so unique in the all too straight laced world of competitive cycling, well that and the beer. ‘Cross can be treacherous for not just you but your fancy rig as well. Sure the chances of screwing up your bike rises in the mud and rain, but shit happens and said shit can happen anywhere. My rear dérailleur went into my spokes breaking the hanger on the first weekend of racing in September, a lovely late summer afternoon, not a cloud in the sky and not an ounce of mud anywhere near the course.

Missouri State Cyclocross Championships 2011

There will be mud!

Anyway, I had just come off a weekend of racing at Jingle Cross in Iowa City in very similar conditions, so four straight wet muddy races in less than two weeks and nothing happened to my bike. In fact it took nearly as much time to clean the interior of the Velo Sedan of all of the mud I’d collected over the last two weeks of racing as it did to clean the bike last Sunday. And yes, black cars are hard to keep clean especially if you race cross and don’t puss out when the conditions go south.

If your so worried to ride and get your bike dirty, why don’t you just hang it up, put your cx bike on Craigslist and get a recumbent and a pair of SPD sandals and join the PV Yacht Club, you fair weather, faux cx’er.

Missouri State Cyclocross Championships 2011

Eating it!

P.S. Attention cat 4 types, don’t listen to the idiots behind the tape who are yelling at you to do things during your race. We are wanting you to eat it.



6 thoughts on “Oh No, I Might Get Dirty!

  1. I was waiting for this…I knew it was coming. ha ha ha As a “far away” sheep, it was disappointed to not see more of the local sheep out there…but more surprising to see the small fields in general. I have a good time racing in KC when I can get out there, but for an “epic” weekend, well….you know.

    Someone else complained that too many races are on Sundays. Ummmm…yeah. Most bike races, cx or otherwise, are on Sundays. If one wants a Saturday race, best become a runner or triathlete I guess.


    Great job out there, Chris! And thanks Jon for the awesome photos! Hope to see you in Chicago…you know…another cold UCI cx event during a Winter month. Weirdos.

  2. This was more of a rant about all of the people who talk big about racing ‘cross but are too afraid to race if the weather isn’t to there standards. It’s fucking cyclocross, shitty weather is part of the mix, deal with it. I was put off with the lack luster turnout from the KC cx community. Pretty lame for races of this importance.
    I’m totally down with Chicago. Excited to try another cx roadtrip! Gas up the Velo wagon and lets head north!!

  3. I agree…and that is why I mentioned the small fields in general. I also know whose quote was referenced in the post and understand your point completely. I listened to quite a few StL racers bitch about the conditions in KC as well. It was pretty amusing. I have walking pneumonia; I didn’t race well, but I had a blast. That’s what cx is about. 😉

  4. Oh crap, walking pneumonia! I had that once as a kid and it put me out of school for almost a month.
    Get well, I want to see the pink spandex rocking the race in Chicago! I’m excited to see what it will be like and prove to the weak asses in KC that you can race in anything and not worrying about your stupid bike.
    I just need to get off my ass and register and renew my license.
    I’m happy you were able to figure out who I was talking about.
    But now everyone thinks I’m talking about them. I guess if the shoe fits…

  5. And you coughed up a lung Saturday. I know because I saw it laying by the velo wagon and I nearly stepped in it. Get well so we can kick ass in Chicago!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s